Everyone has been there–had BIG feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, or even joy! It is how we deal with these feelings that really matters. Today’s blog outlines some coping techniques.
Move it out: As Silken Laumann, Olympic rower and creator of Unsinkable, says: she goes out for a walk or a run or drops down and does some push-ups to express her intense feelings of anger. You can do any type of exercise really. My daughter enjoys putting on boxing gloves and punching a punching bag at the gym. Physical movement is a great way to deal with BIG emotions.
Write it out: I love to journal and during the toughest times in my life my journal has always been there for me, listening, not judging, not advising; and just being “like” a good friend. I express my anger and frustration by writing in BIG letters, with multiple underlines, even swear words (since it is just for me to read). I get it all out on paper and then I feel so much better afterwards, as though all the weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Cry it out: When I am feeling hurt or super sad or even so angry I could cry, that is what I do. I just have a good long cry, usually in the shower with the hot water running down my quivering body, muffling the sound and attempting to calm me. At times, I have cried for a long half hour before I calm down enough to be able to then use a different coping mechanism like journaling, for example. Stacking techniques is always helpful as well.
Sing it out: I don’t know about you, but there always seems to be a song that expresses exactly how I am feeling. I’ll put that song on and belt out the tune along with the band and pretend I’m a Freddie Mercury wanna be, perhaps even playing the same song over and over again, until I’ve fully expressed all the emotions inside of me. For people more talented than myself, perhaps they can play an instrument along with singing a sad song, to really get out those feelings.
Create: There is no better time to create than when you are full of emotion. Write poetry or a song, paint or draw something that expresses how you are feeling. If you are sad because you lost a loved one, go through some of their things or pictures, and create a scrapbook of memories.
Laugh it out: “Research has shown that laughing can genuinely boost your mood, as well as reduce the levels of stress hormones in your body.” MHCC. So, watch a comedy that always makes you laugh, check out some funny YouTube videos, or read the comics.
Hug it out: You can hug someone or a teddy bear, or other stuffed animal, or a pet or a pillow. You can sob while hugging someone or something too, just be prepared to get lots of licks from your caring dog (if you have one)! There’s evidence that a few good squeezes could lead to decreased depression.
So the next time you are feeling REALLY angry, sad or frustrated: try one, or a few of these coping techniques. You’ll feel so much better afterwards!
I’m sure many of you are spending several hours a day, or more, attached to your computer screen; attending Zoom meetings, responding to emails, etc. It is so important, now during this pandemic–more than ever–to keep active for your physical and mental wellbeing.
Despite the pandemic, I recently had an annual physical, for which I am very grateful. I have a wonderful family physician who takes a lot of time talking to me about my overall health. This year was no different. Every year, she gives me notes to take home with me–my homework! This is what she told me to focus on this year.
First, take vitamin D supplements daily all year round –1,000 UI (with food). Everyone in our climate is vitamin D deficient, unless they take supplements. Also, my doctor explained to me that there has been some very preliminary research done which seems to indicate that those deficient in vitamin D have worse outcomes if they get COVID than those who are not vitamin D deficient. Guess what I’m taking every morning with breakfast?
My doctor also wants me to enjoy my golden years. I’m 55–getting to the age where my children might soon have children of their own. My doctor said that so many people get out there and throw a ball to their grandkids and pull a muscle in their shoulder, or go cross country skiing and fall due to loss of balance. Therefore, next on the list of homework is:
1) I have found a great YouTube video “Real Time Full Body Stretching Routine – Ask Dr Jo” – which gives you just that – a full body stretch. I now follow this 2-3 times a week.
2) Balance: My doctor said to practice standing on one foot for as long as possible and keep extending that period of time. Alternate feet. This will help with strengthening the muscles to gain balance. I do this after my stretching routine.
3) Weights: Women in their 50’s start to lose upper body strength, if they don’t work at it. So, she recommended I do a series of arm strengthening exercises using just a light 2 pound weight to begin with. I do a series of weight lifting after my balancing exercises.
And finally, EVERY year, my doctor advises me to get at least 10,000 steps in a day. She wants me walking as much as possible every single day to keep the weight off and to stay fit. I average about 8,000 steps a day, so I’m not far off, but need to increase my steps for sure. This will be difficult once winter comes along, so I’ve purchased some cross-country skis to keep active throughout this Ottawa winter.
What will you be doing to stay active and healthy this winter?
This week I came across a great Youtube video featuring Dr. Laurie Santos, a Professor at Yale University. You can watch the complete video here. I strongly urge you to watch the complete video, but I will summarize here.
Dr. Laurie Santos’ 5 Coping Tips during challenging times:
“Getting 1/2 an hour of cardio every morning is at times just as effective as a prescription of Zoloft.”
“Research suggests that you can retrain your mind to become happier just by paying attention to things that you are grateful for. Write down 3 -5 things you are grateful for every day – by doing this – it will significantly improve your well-being in as little as two weeks.”
“Get rid of technology before going to bed.” Santos says she puts her phone in its own little bed away from her to get an uninterrupted sleep.
“Research shows happy people are more social and prioritize time with family and friends and they really try to schedule it in when times get busy.”
Be with your emotions
Dr. Santos talks about a meditation technique here, called RAIN.
Recognize Accept Investigate Nuture
Her video is short and very helpful. It is worth clicking on the link above as this is just a summary. Her tips are super useful, especially now – since we are all struggling during COVID.