By Anita Manley
I have noticed a commonality among friends, family and acquaintances. Those who compare themselves to others are less joyful, or even miserable as a result.
In fact, comparing ourselves to others is something we all tend to do at some point. Here are some examples:
- The friend who says (not jokingly), I’ll trade you places, you can live at my home and I’ll live in yours.
- The neighbour who thinks you have so many more friends than they do.
- The family member who compares their “meager” earnings for hard work to your executive salary, or your government job with a pension.
- The acquaintance who envies your car, boat and/or cottage.
- The friend who has several health problems and wishes they were as healthy as you are.
Comparison is truly the thief of JOY. The truth is you are ALWAYS going to find others in your life who have more than you do. More friends, more money, more family members, a bigger home, a fancier car, and the list goes on. If you are constantly comparing yourself to these people, rather than being grateful for what you have, you will never be happy. (See my previous post regarding gratitude: Here).
I suggest, rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself! Try setting goals for yourself, then comparing yourself a month from now to your old self. Are you more active? Do you have a tidier home? Are you more fit? Have you walked more? Have you connected with more friends? If not, then reset your goals to live your best life. (See my post on goal setting Here).
Remember, try to be grateful for all that you have. If you want to compare yourself to someone, choose your recent past self. In the case of illness or accident, you will have to re-evaluate your comparison in keeping with your new reality. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and pay attention to the smallest increments of change. Set goals. Avoid falling into the trap of comparing yourself to others around you.
Remember… comparison truly IS the thief of JOY.